Monday, October 13, 2014

sentimental saturday

I was already emotional Saturday when Jordan and I had a conversation about his "mommy blankey."

It was given as a gift for my oldest brother almost 36 years ago, and I used almost daily for at very least 20 years. I stopped sleeping with it on my bed shortly after Jordan was born and gave it to him. He's used it regularly for at least a couple years now.

It used to be dark blue, and full of colorful pattern on the back side. It was sewn with yellow thread and tied with yellow yarn, and though not thick, had a nice layer of filling. Now it's light blue, the only remaining patterns are hidden under the one small spot of edging still attached. I stripped it of it's tiny amount of remaining filling last year, trimmed dangling edges, folded it in half and sewed around, in hopes of helping it last a bit longer.

But it's falling apart even more, and we talked about that it won't last much longer.
That soon he'll have to let it go. His bottom lip curled and he burst into tears!
"But what else will I have to snuggle on my face, mommy?!"
We sat on the living room rug, sun shining through the windows on a crisp fall day, and just cried together. I told him I was sad, too. I loved that blanket and it was my blankey for almost my whole life! We prayed for comfort and peace.

Then, "Mommy, maybe you can make me a NEW mommy blankey! It can be blue (picks up his blanket and points to the blue) and BIG and have tiiiiny (takes a minute to find one of the few remaining yellow ties) yarns!"

So we brainstormed together (and with my mom over the phone - thanks for all your sewing help, always, mom!), talking about that we can never quite replicate or replace his mommy blankey, but we could come up with something new to love.
To be frugal, I brought up the idea of using some blankets we already have that I know are allllmost as soft as a cotton blanket that's been washed hundreds of times, and we got to work. (Aden and Anais blankets rock!)

I did not tie the yarn well enough or use the right yarn, maybe, as it was already coming out after one wash. But Jordan doesn't know, or care. I'll fix it eventually.

"I don't have to be all done with my mommy blankey yet, mommy. I can use it until it's all in tiny pieces. Then, we'll have to throw it away. ... But, I can start using my new one, too. It's my VERY OWN mommy blankey! Thanks, mommy."

It may seem trivial. But it wasn't to him. I'm so glad that I could sit and let him grieve. I pray I can continue to help him learn to grieve change and letting go in a helpful way with these little things. I'm so thankful for yet another thing God is using him to teach me, too.

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