Friday, May 23, 2014

write your story

A little while back I was laying down for a rest, singing the words to "Write Your Story" by Francesca Battistelli in my head as I dozed off. I woke up within moments, with the words, "It's in the building experience that you grow," burning in my mind.

I wrote the words down, and forgot about them. Until today. When I felt a stirring in my heart.

But what am I building? Right now, I think I feel like I'm not building anything most of the time. That I'm just here, being. But I'm not. With most things, I believe we're almost always either building or tearing down. If we don't do what we need to maintain or build, things deteriorate. The problem with that deterioration is that it often goes unnoticed as things are slowly torn down. When we finally realize it, it ends up taking a lot more effort to rebuild than it would have to maintain or add on in the first place.

My life is full of things that are deteriorating before my eyes, and I think I've been choosing to ignore that fact, or cover it up somehow. My bitterness, my negative speech, and my weight are just some of the things I see causing deterioration. And I'm using my success in helping save our family money/ pay off loans as well as my "stress-induced nesting-like tendencies" to make myself feel better. [A friend posted the other day about building a life that feels good inside, not just looks good outside. yep.]

When instead I need to seek God's blueprint and restart the building process.

Keywords: need, restart, and process. It is certainly a need, but important for my type-A personality to not focus on the need for the end result, but to find a starting point, and seek the process. If nothing else, to keep the deterioration at bay. To truly seek God's will on who He needs me to be and how He needs me to live, right here, right now. To allow Him to "write His story on my heart."

I really started this post a couple months ago, and I think it's no coincidence the many ways I've realized God has "snuck in" and helped me repair the foundation for what He's growing my story into... Read more as I catch up with April and May in the next two weeks!

to be continued....

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